American Graduation etc.

This morning, I woke up from an 8 hour and 15 minute sleep to grey skies in a many blanketed bed, with a body that felt like the bones had been replaced with weights. I noticed how heavy the body was when I picked it up to move it after it wouldn’t wake up. I’m just kidding, the body I was referring to was my own and not a sleeping stranger.

Our department had its first team softball game two nights ago. Five of us headed over to the Central Park field near 96th street in mismatched grey shirts, carrying backpacks and bags. We approached two adjacent fields, knowing we would play one of the two teams practicing. The field on the left was filled with players who had matching red uniforms, standing readily in position warming up. The field on the right also had practicing players but they were wearing gym clothes, not softball uniforms. I took some steps closer thinking, Please don’t make us be playing the team in red uniforms. Alas, we arrived at the fence and saw it said Field 11, which was our place to play. The team was from Showtime [the television station]. Then soon it was showtime [time to play]. I had a catch with Justin before the game and as I extended my arm to throw, I had a psychic vision of what waking up the next morning would be like for my muscles. As I was having the psychic vision, Justin threw the ball to me, hitting me in the head. I wasn’t mad at him though, because I have yet to tell him about my mystic mind. I haven’t told anyone actually.

Waking up today, two days later, was even worse than the first day. My offficemates also tell me of muscle aches. The first man who grumbled about his muscle aches was Jeremy our floor’s 90 year old security guard. He said, “My arthritis gets so bad these days, I can barely keep grip my mug of coffee in the morning”. I looked at the gun on his waist-belt and then asked Jeremy when he planned to retire.

Our softball team lost to Showtime 16-6 or something like that. I’m not exactly certain- I have blocked the memory out of my head for ten years- when it will then resurface in the form of a country rock song I will title, “Lost games, Gained pain”. It will become a smash hit and multi-record, multiplatinum, multi-amazing hit-sold as a one track CD in Target stores across the world.

This past weekend I attended my cousin Kaitlin’s graduation from American University. I did not attend alone, that would have been weird, but drove down with my mother and sister, Emily. We tried to document the whole road trip via picture but only ended up taking one.

We went to Starbucks at 8am before leaving Staten Island. I did not order anything but ended up drinking some of a venti drink after the barista made the wrong one for my mother and told us to keep the extra one.

When we arrived to D.C. were greeted by Blair, who had returned hours before from studying abroad in Italy. I gave her a big bear hug [bears are actually known to hug humans as if they had them in a head lock in a usually friendly manner] We got settled and dressed, then threw Kaitlin to the ground and sent her good graduation vibes through the palms of our hands. Mary Kate was the one who kicked Kaitlin’s shins to make her fall. I’m just kidding. I shouldn’t use violence as humor.

Nana acted like a celebrity when she walked in. She hugged Aunt Sally [visiting from CA…shoutouttt] then asked where her bowl unsalted peanuts were. I got nervous because I always thought she preferred salt. Luckily she was only joking.

The graduation started at 1pm and lasted about two hours. Emily and I looked through the booklet and picked out names we liked. We met Kaitlin after the ceremony to take pictures.

I gave Kaitlin an orange rose-flower [that I’m holding in the picture]. I told her I had been growing the rose in my backyard since my graduation a year ago, and freshly cut it the morning before. In reality, I found it on the ground as we were walking over to meet everyone.

After the above picture was taken Nana came in to give me a hug, then whispered to me “I like unsalted peanuts, no christmas present for you this year.” She’s a character…Mrs. Pots from Beauty and the Beast, I would say.


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