My Hidden Relationship

I’d like to introduce everyone to my girlfriend…Her name is Cottage Cheese. She likes cold temperatures and is a little chunky. She’s not a good listener because she has no ears. I hid our relationship out of fear. I thought I’d be judged. Cottage Cheese doesn’t care if she is judged because she can’t perceive what “judging” means.

I am introducing her to you now because I just listened to John Mayer’s song “Say What You Need to Say”.

Here we are today.

Here is a look at our relationship from the past year.

Christmas ’10. I remember right after this picture was taken, Cottage Cheese surprised me with a Rolls Royce car. Yippee!

Open bar with the ladies. It’s amazing how well she fit in with my circle of friends.

Here is Cottage Cheese and I getting our mug shot taken after we robbed the neighborhood liquor store. I told her it was a bad idea but she never listens [because of the “no ears” thing]. 

Us sunbathing. I got the WORST tan lines lol.

Our 2011 winter greeting card. After this photo was taken, we both fell off the ledge.

Cottage Cheese and I spent too much time together and had to have a serious talk. Our personal photographer that I hired took this photo.

Me practicing my piano. Cottage Cheese not listening. Beautiful view.

I was so stupid. I put Cottage Cheese on the grill and she started to sweat. It freaked me out!

Me shoveling snow. Cheese giving moral support. At one point, I lost her amongst the snow. I was so worried I would lose her forever.

A little PDA in a breakfast joint in Hilton Head, South Carolina. Cottage got really jealous when I ordered waffles.

How we met.

Our “song” [the one I’ll be dancing to at our wedding] is Stacie Orrico’s “Stuck” The lyrics that best describes the relationship is, “I hate you, but I love you. I can’t stop thinking of you”.