How to Get Free Stuff of

When ordering things off, I use my sister’s account. She is a “Prime” member, meaning we get free two-day shipping.

An ordinary account holder gets free 5-7 business day shipping. I don’t have the emotional energy to wait that long to receive piano sheet music of Train’s “When I Look To The Sky”.

I am in need of new books to read. My daily Staten Island to Manhattan commute presents to me two free hours. I self-banned myself from listening to my ipod or going on my Iphone during this time. I stare at a computer all day at work and am trying the best I can to save my eyes from technological disintegration. On average, I read 1 book every two weeks which is 26 books a year. 1560 books every 60 years. I am three chapters away from finishing Sloane Crosley’s humorous set of essays compiled into a book called, “How Did You Get This Number?” I recommend it.

I put three books in my virtual shopping cart along with a new Iphone 4 case.

The order totaled $36.49. I virtually checked out. I “forgot” that my sister’s “Prime” account is connected to credit card. I put the word “forgot” in quotes because I am being sarcastic. I know they are connected. I pressed, “submit order”.

Today I got this email from my sister.

You spelt alligator wrong.
I thought in my head. I responded. 

Capitalizing certain words in the email helped portray how “sorry” I was.  I ain’t writing her no checks. See ya laataaa alligaatttaaa.

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