True Life: I Was Transported to the year 1904

I went to my therapist’s this week and described to her the anxieties that were held up inside me. She attempted to teach me self-improving exercises. When that didn’t work, she dimmed the lights and sang Katy Perry’s “Firework”. I finally had a breakthrough.

It snowed last night into the morning.

My family and I slept at my 92 year old grandma’s last night to keep her company. We watched the 1944 movie Meet Me In St. Louis starring Judy Garland. [For those of you who don’t know, I have a major obsession with Judy Garland and have a shrine of her head in my closet that I worship many a night] Judy’s daughter, Liza Minnelli, gave an introduction to the movie and we couldn’t fast forward because had no remote to control the dvd player. My sister got annoyed but I suggested she calm down saying, “Emily, that is Judy Garland’s daughter. What she has to say is important”.

The movie is set in St. Louis Missouri in 1903. Boy, were times different then. First of all, let’s talk about the hairstyles. Here is what Judy Garland’s hair looked like in the movie:

Maybe I should get a haircut like that…

Or perhaps I should dress more like her…

All the women around me look like they think I’m really funny and cool. I must have said something clever. Imagine if I actually dressed like this on a daily basis? Walked around like this on the subway, in the office, at the mall, at Stop and Shop, at Six Flags. “STOP THE ROLLER COASTER. MY LACE HAT FLEW OFF”

The twist in the movie is that the family’s father wants to move the whole family to New York City. No one wants to leave their beloved St. Louis behind. My grandma enjoyed the movie. She also covered her whole body with a blanket so she looked like a cute little floating head.

I saw a little smirk on her face. The only thing more innocent than my grandma is a newborn baby…and a lilly flower. No wait…a newborn baby holding a lilly flower.

At the end of the movie, the 7-year old girl [Judy Garland’s “sister”] takes a bat and smashes the snowmen in the backyard. [you have to have seen the entire movie to realize how emotional this is for the viewer] The little girl sobs and cries for like 3 minutes straight. This was the only part where my grandma was like, “Why is she crying so much?”, as if she were annoyed this little girl couldn’t control her emotions. I was also crying at this point and informed my g-ma, “She is crying because she doesn’t want to move to New York and leave St. Louis. That’s why she’s crying, Nana”.

When Judy Garland kisses the male lead in the movie, my grandma said, “Oh that’s nice”.

I’ll admit it, I was hoping for a snow day today but waking up the roads weren’t that bad. I knew it was my destiny to make it into work. My dad drove me to the bus stop.

I saw there was one other man waiting at the bus stop as we pulled up. I said to my dad, “Maybe we will become friends.” My dad said that probably wasn’t a good idea and I shouldn’t talk to strangers. I waited for my bus for a half hour [usually wait ten minutes]. The man kept shaking his feet [one foot at a time]. I assumed this was a means of staying warm to achieve homeostasis. He saw me looking and said, “I’m a tap dancer. Just warming up my feet because I’m going to an audition for an off broadway show called ‘Shazam’, a tap dancing musical about Billy Mays.” I smiled and said, “That’s fantastic”, when reality I didn’t give a s**t. HAHAH it’s funny when I curse, because I never do.

He started teaching me his dance routine, becoming really aggressive when I wasn’t getting the beat count correct. “I’m not trained”, I told him stressed out. “4-5-6”, he repeated as he clapped his hands. I was relieved to see my express bus was approaching. The bus barely slowed down as it reached us, then sped away spraying mucky snow on me and the dancer. He began freaking out saying, “My pants are ruined!”, as he waved his hands in what appeared to be “jazz hands” motion.

“If only you had a Sham-Wow”, I told him. The phrase was dripping with sarcasm, just like his pants were dripping with water. He quickly about-faced and sped-walked away from me [and the bus stop] heading toward the train. I saw another bus approaching and felt bad for him, because that could have been the bus he wanted.

My bus never came, so I hopped on a similar one which was very crowded. I sat next to a seemingly 35 year old man who took up one a half seats. He was on his computer checking Facebook and didn’t move his gloves which were on my chair. I sat, lifting up the arm rest and was subsequently hanging off the chair. I sighed loudly, hoping he would get the hint that I was annoyed. [I am passive aggressive like that sometimes] The seats were almost filled up and I made a quick decision to run to the back of the bus and get a different seat. I stood up and left, but not before I grabbed his computer, and changed his Facebook status to “I sleep with a teddy bear name Boo Boo”. That will teach him to take up two spaces.

I got to work and the city wasn’t badly covered with snow. The streets were manageable. It’s kind of cool that this is where I work every day.

Even though there are too many people. OMG looking at this picture I spot my new dancer “friend” from the bus stop…RUNNNN!!!!