Paid the Bus Fare in Chocolate Coins

To improve my health, I tried to pay my bus fare this morning in gold chocolate coins. It was an effort to get rid of leftover Easter candy.

The bus driver saw me stuffing the food into the coin slot. Shaking her head she said, “Oh hell no.”

She put me in a headlock and forced me to eat the coins. I have short fingernails and struggled to unpeel the chocolate’s gold covers.

“I’ll be late to work,” a mustached commuter shouted. He was sitting in the second row. It was not necessary for him to shout. I tossed a “half penny” piece of chocolate at his head. That’s the big one.

Because I was in a headlock, my aim was off. The coin hit the woman next to him right in the eye. “I’m blind,” she screamed. I recognized her. She was my 3rd grade teacher Ms. Kelly. My eyes darted to the floor, where they stayed until I finished eating the coins.

With a stomachache, I walked down the aisle of the crowded bus. “Anyone have change for a dollar?” I asked. No one would make eye contact with me.

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