I Lost My IPhone.

Yes, the rumors are true. I lost my two-week-old IPhone. I’ve reached the 5th stage of grief which is “The Upward Turn”. I’ve started to adjust to life without my loved one. My “depression” has begun to lift slightly. I was forced to reactivate my Blackberry Storm.

I was at an Irish themed Museum on the Lower South Side that had a two-for-one potato give away special if you got there before 4pm. It was a fun day. I wasn’t wearing green, so I can only conclude a Spiteful Leprechaun snuck into my pocket-book and snatched my IPhone 4g.

You may not be surprised to hear of my phone-loss. You might have even predicted it [shoutout to my psychic Rayna]. I have a history with losing things. Last week I lost the bottom piece of my Tupperware somewhere between the pantry and my desk.

Considering the earthquakes and tsunamis that have recently occurred, along with the fact that chicken strips have been taken off of the McDonald’s dollar menu, the loss of my IPhone is merely unimportant. Henceforth, I will no longer complain about the it. I will however, continue to tell co-workers of my experience to get sympathy.

This morning I rode the bus to work with the sole purpose of trying to fall asleep. I became curious about sleep-commutting after my high school friend Katt told me, “I sleep all the time on my commute. That’s the reason I take the bus. Gosh Becky, don’t be such a dumbass.” I usually fall asleep within 10-30 minutes of laying down on a normal night, but I am not the kind of person who dozes off mid-movie-watch, or mid-phone-conversation, or mid-applying waterproof mascara.

I closed my eyes for the entire ride and tried to relax by resting my head on my shoulder. It was uncomfortable. I thought, “I’m not going to fall asleep, I’m not going to fall asleep, I’m not going to fall asleep.” By the time I got to my bus stop, I was about two minutes away from “hitting the hay”. I didn’t fall asleep. The plan backfired and I was extremely lethargic as I rolled off the bus. I took a picture of myself rubbing my eyes.

I’m never going to attempt sleep on the Express Bus again.

Ok Listen, I lied about how I lost my Iphone. I wasn’t at an Irish themed Museum party on the lower South Side and there wasn’t a two for one potato special…and a Spiteful Leprechaun didn’t steal my phone. In reality [the realm which we are currently residing], I was waiting on the subway platform and a large Egyptian man dressed like a Pharaoh threatened me saying I didn’t give him my Iphone, he would curse my entire family line. I do NOT want that on my conscious again.

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